Just for Women Wednesdays: A Woman's Tone of Voice

A Woman's Tone of Voice

 

(Image is from istockphoto.com)

 

A Real Life Tone of Voice Story 

Has there ever been a time when the tone of your voice hurt another woman's feelings? I remember a time when I snapped at a friend of mine. I didn't mean to. In fact, most times I am able to maintain my composure. Not this particular time. This time I LOST it.  My tone of my voice sounded like a crocodile biting off the head of it's prey. SNAP.  UGHHHHH!!!! "Did I do that?" I said to myself. "Oh, yes, I did." As I watched the tears swell up in her eyes, it was crystal clear I had hurt her heart. If my heart had been a balloon, it would have deflated at that very moment. I felt so awful about my actions toward a sweet friend. I never set out to cause her harm. How could I praise Jesus one day and the next day hurt a fellow sister in Christ?

 

Getting to the Root of Your Tone

Reactions are real. They come and go. As a wife, mother, friend, co-worker, fellow church member, we are always projecting some type of tone: cheerful, encouraging, testy, snappy, discouraged, snide, angry. We will mess up with our responses.  But we don't have to let our emotions get the best of us and everyone around us. We need to continually keep our tone in check. How do we do that?

 

Getting to the root of the tone of your voice can help you walk in freedom. In my case, when I reflected on my snappy tone of voice, I was able to trace its origin back to my hurried state. I was late. I felt like I let everybody down. I was disappointed in myself. As a person who tries to be dependable, I was undependable that day. On the drive over to my friends house, I mentally had already persecuted myself about being late and in a hurry which in turn caused me to be very tense. The moment I stepped out of the car, my inner frustration was obvious through my tone of voice and facial expressions. When my friend told me to relax, I lost it. I threw self-control out the window.

 

It's important to sit down and take an inventory of your vocal tonal patterns. Some of the hardest times for women to keep a check on their tone is when they feel unappreciated, hurt, forgotten, hurried, frustrated, late, left out, or betrayed. Those feelings fester in the heart and then come bubbling up in the tone of voice she projects toward others. Tone of voice can always be traced back to one of these inner feelings.

 

The Bible says: 

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer"

(Psalm 19:14).

 

 

Three Ways to Reel In Your Tone of Voice

1. Don't beat Yourself Up-

We all mess up. Confess it to the LORD and quickly ask forgiveness from that person. Make right the relationship if at all possible.

 

2. Get to the Root -  Ask yourself, "Why is this tone coming out of my mouth at this moment?" Is there a life circumstance or other underlying cause bothering me?

 

3. Practice A New Way of Responding-  Learn from your mistakes. If you know your hot buttons, then you can be on guard to not give in to them and react in an unkind way. The more you are able to think ahead of the possibilities of changing your tone of voice, the better you'll be at not hiding beneath the frustrations of life through the tone of your voice. Practice in the car, at home, while you cook. Try to think of a new way to respond. 

 

You Can Change

Has someone recently told you that your tone of voice was hurtful? Asked you what was the matter? Asked you if you were OK? It's probably your tone of voice that is signaling to them to ask the question.Take their question with a teachable heart and get to the root of your tone. Examine it and see if it connects to your life circumstances or unchecked inner feelings.Why is this important? Because we are a witness of the LORD to others. May we always, always, always let our aim be for the tone of our words to please the LORD and be "acceptable" in His sight.

 

What do you think about this post today? Is it helpful?

Praying Like David

This is a new blog series that focuses solely on prayer.

Our prayers at times are quite dry because we say the same things over and over again. We don't use scripture to fuel our prayer lives. God gave us HIS Word to be prayed and meditated over. I constantly stand in awe of how David talked to God. Do you? His intimacy towards the LORD astounds me at times. It's so tender, yet so conversational. Reading his prayers and praying them back to God has ignited my prayer life.

David poured his heart out to God and recalled the greatness and goodness of God. It's in recalling God's greatness that he would find himself comforted and closer to the LORD. Isn't that what prayer is supposed to do? Draw us closer to intimacy with our LORD?

Today's prayer comes from Psalm 5:1-3 (The Message)

" Listen, GOD! Please pay attention! Can you make sense of these ramblings, my groans and cries? King-God, I need your help. Every morning you'll hear me at it again. Every morning I lay out the pieces of my life on your altar and watch for fire to descend."

1. Notice the heart of David and his desperateness to be heard.
2. How did David address God?
3. When was the last time you laid out the pieces of your life before the LORD and let Him make sense of your groans and cries?

Stop and make time to come boldly and honestly before God. Address Him as King of your life and frustrations. Ask Him to help you make sense of the current things going on in your life. He will.

Manna Monday- Are You a Bored Church Member?

Are You A Bored Church Member?

You float in late to church.
You forget your Bible.
You are always excusing your apathy, lateness or lack of participation in church to yourself.
You attend church at least two times out of the month because you are so busy on weekends or you just can't get up for whatever reason on Sunday mornings.
You want to serve somewhere but you don't feel equipped. You think other people are much more qualified.
You sing some of the worship songs, but not really.
You don't feel connected to others in your small group and think, "I wonder if I should leave and find another small group?" Truth is, have you even reached out to the people in your small group by greeting them or calling them?
Your mind wanders during the pastor's sermon and you think, "what am I going to do this afternoon? Where should we go for lunch?"

Church seems more of a chore or "to do list" than a joy and passion.

If this is you, you're a bored church member. Don't fret about it. Don't condemn yourself. Do something different. Commit to the LORD and not to people. Decide to get involved in serving others than waiting for others to serve you. This is the greatest way to ignite the passion of purpose in a believers heart away from boredom and apathy.

 Six Ways to Move From Boredom To Purpose

Here's the vital truth.
Your church needs YOU. It really does. They need help-always. They need people who are open to welcoming others and loving on them.

Here's what Paul said, "...we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is EQUIPPED, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love" Ephesians 4:16.

Are you growing up in every way into Christ who is the head of the church?
God equips you. To believe otherwise is a lie.
Look what happens when everything in the body is working properly? (Ephesians 4:16)
The BODY GROWS!!!!

You have a very important part in building up the body of Christ.
The greatest passion you can ever know is the passion of serving God's people.
But sadly, many people miss it because they are so covered up by apathy, lies and boredom.

Dear sister, don't miss out on the greatest adventure you could ever imagine with God.
He has a purpose for you in serving your church.
Ask Him today what it is and just start somewhere.

People get bored. People get tired. People get discouraged. But don't let these excuses keep you from growing your relationship with the LORD and helping build up HIS Kingdom for eternity.

Go use your gift and get started on the greatest adventure you can ever imagine!!!!!
 

Free Art Friday Winner

Sorry ladies for the delay this am. My helper cut out with his daddy and is no where to be found!
Daddy has been gone all week long due to a meeting out of town, so I should have guessed the two of them would be hanging out early on this Saturday morning. To not linger any longer, I had to draw the name.

                                      Thanks to EVERYONE who entered Free Art Friday!!!!!

All the names in the bowl.

 

Here I go, since who knows when my son will come back with his daddy today.

                            YAY! Congrats Lisa! Message me on Joy Treasure Page and we will discuss the

   best way to get the artwork to you! 

 

Stay tuned! LOTS more art coming on the Joy Treasure blog this year!!!

Free Art Friday!!

Hey y'all! Free Art Friday is back! (Sorry for the delay, I had a sick child this am.)

Free Art Friday Entry Rules

1. Enter your first and last name in the comment box under this blog post. Facebook doesn't count. You must leave your name under this blog post. I have to make it fair for those who come to the blog and enter their name. (Smiles)

2. You may only enter your name once for the painting.

3. Entry time ends today Friday, February 1st at 4pm.

4. Winner's name will be written on a piece of paper and drawn from a bowl by my son and announced Saturday morning, February 2, 2013 on the blog before 9:30am.

5. Painting will be mailed to winner through postal service on Monday, February 4th, 2013. Postage will be paid by Joy Treasure.

                                                                       Psalm 25:4
Painting is mixed media paper and paint, Black and Ivory Chevron Cross with distressed background on canvas (6X6 in size).
Perfect for a desk at home or office, on a end table, or in the kitchen. Can also hang on a wall as well.
Made with lots of love, joy and prayer!
Enjoy!

 

Just for Women Wednesdays- Why You Should Learn from Envy

How do you deal with envy in your heart? What do you do with it? No need to push it aside because the Bible says it can rot the bones (Proverbs 14:30). That's how bad it is!! It penetrates to the very frame of your body. Envy can begin with a tiny thought but unchecked it can go to the depths.

 

A Heart Changing Question

I am always trying to learn from other believers. I want to be a lifelong learner and not drift through this life and take what's fed to me. I want for truth to do SOMETHING to my heart; not bounce off of it like I never heard it. A couple of the ways I keep learning is by:

•  reading a Christian book
•  listening to a pastor online
•  going over my pastor's sermon notes
•  listening to other believers in my church in Sunday School
•  learning from my friends lives
• journaling about my life

I really want to learn. I have to make myself deliberately listen. It's easier to not listen and just be busy. I try to challenge myself to read one book a month. The book I am re-reading is "The Eve Factor: Resisting and Overcoming Temptation." by Shirley Rose published by Navpress 2006.

 

When reading any book I highlight the most important "aha" truths/quotes/questions that stand out to me because I want to remember it.

 

Today's post is centered around the quote below from Shirley's book, page71.

It's one of those parts of a book that hits home to my heart. This was my "aha" moment.

"We can't help it if we see something we want. Be we can determine why we want it so much."  Shirley Rose

Read and ask yourself the same questions Shirley asks:  

We can learn from the sin in our heart by simply asking questions about the root of the sin. But we can't learn from it if we don't acknowledge it and face it head on. The best way to bring it to the light is to stop thinking about it and write it down on a piece of paper. Writing it down brings it out in the open. Then, you can look at it and begin bringing it to the LORD through prayer and seeking scripture. You can begin seeking the root of your envy. If you know why you are agreeing to it, you know how to guard yourself more.

 

Why should we learn from envy? Because envy steals the life from our body. It poisons us and makes us ineffective for the LORD and stifles our intimacy with the LORD.

A heart checked, confessed and brought to the LORD continually gives life to your life.

But envy dear sister steals the life out of your life.

Be encouraged today!
We don't have to be perfect.
We just need to be pursuing the right things of God!
 

Manna Monday- Revamp Your Quiet Time

The Daily Dilemma

Ughhh! Why do we battle with spending time with God? Shouldn't we want to set aside time to converse and hang on to the Words of the God of the Universe, our Creator, Redeemer and King every morning? Sounds commendable on paper but in reality, its a real conflict.

 

The Root of Our Quiet Time Struggle

The Flesh

Daily, our flesh wages war against the Spirit of God inside us. The apostle Paul said, "For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out (Romans 7:18)."While we are here on this earth, we will struggle with our flesh that procrastinates and rebels against spending time with God. But take heart, dear one. We have  help through Jesus Christ- the Holy Spirit, "...the Spirit helps us in our weakness...(Romans 8:26).

Unconfessed Sin

The other piece of our quiet time struggle is unconfessed sin. Flashback to the Garden of Eden. Remember the famous scene where the first couple veiled themselves with degrading fig leaves (Genesis 3:8-11)? They tried to deal with their own sin and hide from God. In actuality, they broke fellowship with their heavenly Father. Yet God found them. He longed to be close to them again. And He asked them to confess why they were hiding. Truth is, we don't like confessing our sin. It's hard and painful. But the reward is unity with God! Stop hiding under your own kind of fig leaves and come back to your tender heavenly Father. He is waiting.

Three Ways To Revamp Your Quiet Time Today

1. Change Your Mindset
Say "so long" to boring and purposeless quiet times. Adopt a new mindset that believes the most High God who wants to talk to you and desires for you to talk to Him. You are not "doing" something to check off on your "to-do" list. Simply come before God and ask, "I want to love you more. Help me love You more." He wants to have a conversation with you. So talk to Him. Begin the conversation.

2. Take Inventory of Your Questions

When you want to get to know someone more, you ask questions. Start asking God to teach you truths you don't know in His Word (Memorize Psalm 25:4 and pray it back to God). Take a notebook and label it "Questions for God." Make a list of every question you have for God. Maybe it's about His character, attributes, a life story in the Bible, a topic in life that you are unsure about. Then seek it out in the Bible first. Once you have searched the scriptures and prayed about it, then purchase a book from your local Christian bookstore, https//www.lifeway.com or online at https://www.christianbook.com on what you are desiring to learn more about. Read all you can from real pastors and Christian authors. God uses other people to teach us too. It's amazing what insight you will gain by searching scripture first, praying about it, and then reading from other believers. A whole new world of exciting knowledge and truth about God will begin to infiltrate your heart and overflow into your daily life.

3. Make A Quiet Time Place
Just like you have a place for your makeup and kitchen utensils, make a place for your quiet time materials. Decorate the inside of a drawer and make it appealing to the eyes when you open it. Keep the items in a special basket or storage container in your den, kitchen or living room. Purchase your favorite color journal or CD to play. Use praise music to get your mind off of the world and onto Jesus. Buy a coffee mug that you only use during quiet times. Carve out a nook in your home where you go and make it as special as you can. Make it a place you love to go to!!Most importantly, keep your schedule away from the quiet place because your mind will start  to wander.

Take the Joy Treasure Challenge

There is no time like today to get started conversing with the God of the Universe.

He loves you. He longs for you to know Him (Psalm 139). 

 

Attempt one of these three things today. 

Complete all by the end of the week. 

 

I would love to hear how this post encouraged you!

Just For Women Wednesdays- 5 Ways to Supercharge Your Prayer Life

Do you want a more effective prayer life? A supercharged more purposeful way of praying? Does your heart yearn to pray more than "God be with me" prayers? That's what happened to me a few years ago. I came to a crossroads in my prayer life where I was tired of praying the same prayers. I was ashamed when I listened to myself pray a bunch of words without purpose and passion. As I listened to myself, I thought, "This cannot be prayer that is effective"(James 5:16-17). I craved to be able to talk to God with passion and purpose instead of praying the same words from my limited vocabulary. I learned to pray God's Word back to Him. It has made ALL the difference.

Even now, there are times when my prayer life becomes stagnant. I don't chastise myself. I shake things up and get myself energized to pray again.

Five Ways You Can Supercharge Your Prayer Life

1. Soak Up the Word-
Staying away from God's Word steals the energy out of prayer. You are praying out of your limited vocabulary and dry heart. Think of a sponge. It soaks up water so it can be used to clean things. It is no good if it is dry. But when soaked with water, the sponge can go on and on and on with being useful. Nothing will supercharge your prayer life than to study a passage and pray it back to God. Find a passage. Write a verse down on a notecard and pray it back to God. Do this for a month. See how it changes your prayer life.

2. Think Bigger-
Time to get off the merry-go-round of dry prayers. Pray scripture and think more about others when praying. If your prayers are only about you, you need to think bigger. Praying bigger begins when you can pray for others. Take a day where you pray only for others e.g. Sunday School Class, co-workers, neighbors, family members, etc.

3. Get Outside-
Do something totally different and go prayer walking. Take your prayers outside and talk to God. Pray for your neighborhood by walking by each house and praying for the family inside. Go to your church and get a group of women to walk and pray for the ministers and ministries to prosper. Walk around the schools and pray for God to give them strong hearts to stand boldly for Him.

4. Challenge Yourself to Pray Diligently
Jesus was right when he told the disciples, "Couldn't you keep watch with me for one hour?" (Matthew 26:38-40). Our human capability is weak and we get tired of praying. Prayer is hard work. It takes energy to pray, especially to stay praying. Challenge yourself to not grow weary of praying for something or someone. Just like you would schedule lunches, meetings, or school deadlines schedule your prayer life. Determine a time to pray once a week where you are uninterrupted.

5. Make A Prayer Basket
 Sometimes prayers get tossed by the wayside because we don't make time for them nor do we have a place to pray. Buy a pretty basket and put it by your bed or your favorite chair in your living room. Place a Bible, prayer journal and note cards in it with a pen. I have books about prayer inside my basket. Sometimes reading these books (mine are by E.M. Bounds and John Wesley) help spur my thoughts and energize my prayers for the day.

Start With One Thing New

I pray you are encouraged today and that these ideas can help supercharge your prayer life.
There are five things. You don't have to do them all at once!! Pick one and start it today.
I would love to know if they are helpful.
Blessings to you dear sisters!
 

Just for Women Wednesdays: The Comfortable Sin

The Comfortable Sin: What it is and How You can Break Free From it

I recently had a conversation with a lady who revealed how she never felt "good enough" about herself. She then apologized. I quickly told her, "Your God's Daughter! That is better than GOOD ENOUGH! That is GREAT enough!" Then I shared how I too had struggled in the past with this same thought in my own life. The difference now when Satan tried to tempt me to believe this comfortable lie was that I go back to scripture and remind myself WHOSE I am!!!

The Root of "Not Good Enough"

The root of this comfortable, yet destructive thought, simply stems from the sin of doubt. It stems from taking our eyes off of the truth God has clearly revealed in scripture about WHO we are in Christ and turning our eyes onto our own limited capability, our past failures or mistakes, and on any harmful word someone accused of being in the past. Never, does any woman set out with the intention of letting the sin of doubt rule her heart and attitude. Never, do she begin the start of her day proclaiming, "Lord, today I am going deny you as being the LORD of my thought life.I am going to doubt who I am in You." No. Instead, as Satan is perfect at doing, he throws a lure for us to consider. Remember that he cannot make you think this. He can only tempt you to think this. It's your choice to accept the lie and doubt who you are in Christ.

Why Can Doubt Become so Comfortable?

Doubt can become like your favorite blanket you snuggle under to keep warm. You don't always want it, but it's there when you want to crawl underneath it and hide. One doubtful thought or acceptance in your mind can become who you begin to believe you are in this life. Before long, you have entertained doubt 30 times in a day and it is begging to stay another day, and then another, and so on. After a month, you have become so comfortable with the doubtful thought that you don't even recognize it as an evil house guest in your heart anymore. And yet it is,doubt,destroying your confidence in Christ and keeping you from living on purpose for God. Doubt is pictured so clearly in Matthew 14:22-33. The disciples are in the boat during the fourth watch of the night and they see Jesus walking on the water and become afraid. 

Turn your attention to two words in Matthew 14:26:

1. "Saw"

The eyes are the pathway to doubt. One glance at something we like or we are uncertain of, opens the door  to entertain questions that fire against the truth that we know and believe. We must learn to guard our eyes.

     2. "Fear"

Fear shouts at you and tells you you are not going to be OK. It tells you to look at your circumstances and forget about God's limitless ability and ongoing presence. It paralyzes your heart. We must learn how to use scripture and prayer to handle our fears. 

What Jesus Said About Doubt

As the story continues, Peter wants clarification that the "ghost" the disciples see on the sea IS Jesus. So he asks Jesus to "command" him to come out of the boat and walk to Him on the sea. Now I have been in 50 feet of ocean water off The Big Island of Hawaii before and been so scared to bits to swim in water so deep. I can't imagine what I would have done if I would have seen Jesus and heard him call me to walk on the water. I most likely would have done the same thing Peter did. So Jesus answers his request and bids him to come to Him. Peter exits the boat and begins to LOOK at his surroundings:

 Darkness (fourth watch of the night- 3am in the morning- Matthew 14:25)

 Wind/Waves (Matthew 14:30)

And then Peter sinks.

Jesus said to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt (Matthew 14:31)?" 

Breaking Free From Doubt

.

This is WHO YOU ARE in CHRIST! And so much more!!!

Listen for God's Voice (Matthew 14:27)

Remember God's Promises (John 10:28)

Don't Fear Life's Circumstances (Matthew 14:27)

Pray (Matthew 14:30)

Peter looked at his circumstances and turned away from looking at Jesus. 

Fear caused him to sink. He prayed for the LORD to save him and Jesus did. That's how he broke free from a weak instance of faith. He looked back to Jesus.

You can break free from doubt. Let go of the circumstance or doubtful thought and hold on to Christ. Hold on tight!!!!! You know you are looking away from Christ like Peter did when the feelings you feel on the inside overtake your faith steps on the outside. The next time doubt knocks on the door of your heart and causes you to think that you are "not good enough," or life is "scary" trace the thought back to it's root--doubt. Memorize scripture ( a verse or two) to remind you of what IS true. And say so long to the lie.

  

Manna Monday: How to Change Your Worship For the Better

 

Drawn by me, Ashley. Psalm 63:2, The Message

A Sunday Morning Worship Confession

Every Sunday I go into the sanctuary and I worship the LORD through song and the reading of the Word. And on some Sunday mornings I find myself a little tired. A little apathetic. A little distracted by life. And it's in those times I examine my heart and ask myself these questions, "Am I really devoted to You Lord? Can I truly say You are enough?" Then I say, "My flesh is weak. Oh LORD, please help me love You more and know You more. Speak to my heart today. Give me eyes to see Your truth and ears to hear Your Word." And He speaks to me through the reading of His Word when He opens my eyes to a word, a phrase, a new way of thinking as I read. He also uses the message of my Pastor to speak to my heart as well. And my heart is revived to live another day in this world. But what if I never asked those questions and just kept on wallowing in my apathy and "distractedness?"

Questions Can BE good!
Have you ever felt this way before?
If you have, it's OK! It's normal.
Our flesh and spirit battle against each other (Galatians 5:17)
But the question is,"who will I let win?" 
My flesh or my spirit?


How to Change Your Worship for the Better

Changing your worship on Sunday mornings and throughout your week, begins by changing your thought life. You've got an adventure with God to live! Put away the mindset that church is something you do and replace it with the truth that the God of the universe wants to speak to you through His Word and for you to talk to Him through prayer. WOW!! Dear one, there are not enough words in our finite minds to worship God in the way He is due adoration. That's why He gave us the Bible. And tucked away in the middle of the book is the beating heart of worship-Psalms. It's a great place we can turn in our Bibles continually to help us get out of the apathy pit.

Take for instance Psalm 63:2 that I drew in my journal this morning. 

Psalm 63 records the time David was in the wilderness of Judah. David was in a barren place and less inhabited place. Just because he was serving God didn't mean he wouldn't feel alone or unsettled at time. So what did he do when he found himself there? 

Three Truths that Kill Apathetic Worship

1. I am God's and He is Mine.

David begins in Psalm 63:1 saying, "O God, you are my God;.." He is stirring himself up to grab hold of His LORD. He is not a God who is someone else's God. HE IS GOD. WE ARE HIS. HE IS OURS! 

 

2. Resolve to Keep Seeking God

David goes on to say, "earnestly, I seek you;" He was resolved to seek God in the wilderness, when the surroundings of life didn't look spectacular or glorious. This truth should encourage every apathetic heart in a desert place. 

 

3. Beholding God In the Secret

David desired to behold God in the secret place with his eyes like he had in the sanctuary. It's easy to worship God on Sunday mornings when there are LOTS of people singing along and listening to the sermon. But what about the secret places of your life? The places no one sees? When you are by yourself and your life circumstances threaten to steal every ounce of your joy, pray this prayer (Psalm 63:1-2). It's in those dry circumstances that we FIND God because our desire to seek and behold Him stirs us to grab hold of Him. 

My Prayer For You

I love the Message Translation of Psalm 63:2 which says, "So here I am in the place of worship, eyes open drinking in your strength and glory."This is my prayer today for own life. But it's my prayer for the women who come to the Joy Treasure Manna Monday post and read it today.

May you be like David, eyes open drinking in God's strength and glory.

.