Joy Treasure

How to Become A Woman 

Who Keeps Her Word

I have done it and have been on the receiving side of it. I have given a promise that I couldn't keep or wasn't realistic in keeping because of scheduling. Then I have had to go back and apologize for not being able to keep a commitment.

I have come to learn that women, well....we really aren't that different. We like the same clothes, we like the same cutesy gifts but we also struggle with saying, "no."

Why is that?

Because we desire to do so much and be involved and yet, it is so hard for us to say the word "no." Some women have it mastered, and they are far and few between. Many women really struggle with keeping their word these days. Is it possible to be that woman whose "yes" is "yes" and "no" is "no?" I have come to find in my own life the following reasons that keep me from letting my "yes" be "yes" and my "no" be "no." Maybe they will help you think about your own answers.

1. I haven't looked at my calendar.Sometimes we want to say "yes" to something that we go ahead and say "yes" when when we should say "I will have to get back to you. I need to make sure I am available and can commit without any other conflicts." 

2. I looked at my calendar but I didn't update it.I can't tell you how many times I have looked at my calendar, but have forgotten to update it to where I could clearly see there was a conflict. Ugh!!! Then I have to go back and say "no." I hate doing that. My desire is that I come across dependable and this kind of a pattern is not what I want to be portraying to others. 

3. I feel the need to be liked or be included. There have been times in the past, when I wanted so much to be included in something, or make new friends or get to know other women that I let that be the motive to my saying "yes" (even though I knew I was adding a couple of things to my calendar that were really going to stretch my day) when I knew I could keep the commitment but I was gonna be exhausted after over committing. 

So what about you? What are your reasons for saying "yes?"
Maybe it is not because of the reasons I mentioned. Maybe you say "yes" because you feel pressure from the other person to do what they are asking. That's never a reason to say "yes." Become comfortable saying, "Let me get back to you" or "I just can't at this time."

Wishy-Washiness, overcommitment, and being motivated to fill your schedule too much are simply signals that you need to practice pausing. Pause before you say "yes." Think about the other person and how they might feel if you have to say to them, "I am sorry, I can't help. I can't come...." They may be really depending on you and you don't know that. Be a woman whose "yes" is "yes" and "no" is "no."
If you are finding that you are having to apologize all the time because you can't keep commitments then you need to stop and examine why you are saying "yes."

Get comfortable pausing before you give an answer. And be okay with saying, "no."

Last, I love the story of Chick-fil-A. I worked there in high school. As a businessman, Truett Cathy never has let the pressure of other people's desire for Chick-fil-A to be open on Sundays force him to say "yes." His "no" has been "no" and stayed "no." Did you know that his restaurants have been closed on Sundays since 1948? WOW!!!! What an example of a modern day believer who keeps his word.

I hope you have been challenged today by this post. It's okay to struggle, but you can decide today to do something different. Go become that woman who keeps her word and can be counted on whether it's a "yes" or a "no." It will do your heart much good! And those who know you will know they can depend on you and not be waiting for a phone call, email or text to say you can't do something.