Joy Treasure

Three Ways to Show Respect to Your Husband Today

These are a few things I have been kicking around in my mind since re-reading the book of Love and Respect by Emerson Eggrich. As wives, it can be easy to disrespect our husbands. Why? Well, there are many components that play into our disrespect. 

First, we don't think that way toward our husbands. We think more in terms of love and romance. We pursue love more in our relationships than we do in showing respect. God created men to need respect. We aren't taught that as women. Even movies focus more about love than they ever do respect when it comes to men. Our society cuts men down in talk shows, advertisements and movies while promoting women as the better halves. But as followers of Christ, we must be careful that we too don't get sucked into the destructive cultural attitude against disrespecting men. 

Second, we lack practical knowledge of how we are to show respect to our husbands. This can be hard to grasp when we naturally want to show love. Learning how to practically show respect in your marriage can feel awkward because you are going against what you naturally want to do. 

Third, our hearts are covered up in the unconfessed sin of pride. Sin is the main obstacle that leads us to disrespect our husbands. Our very own prideful thoughts that "we are better" and "we know better" and we will not be some kind of "submissive doormat" are just a few of the things women can struggle with internally when it comes to learning how to respect their husbands. 

So here's a little test for you today. If you answer "yes" to any of these, you are showing disrespect to your husband and you aren't realizing it.

Today you can begin showing your husband respect by telling him you respect him. Tell him in a card. Tell him before you go to bed. But just tell him how much you respect all he does for you and the family.

1. Instead of rolling your eyes at something he says or does, look him straight in the eye when you disagree. Show him you are listening and value his opinion.

2. Encourage him by looking for something he has done "right" for you or the kids and thank him. Hold your tongue when you want to cut him down in front of other people or your kids in regards to his faults. Learn how to discuss both of your faults in private.

3. Don't verbally compare him to another husband who does all the "right" things for his wife.

4. Show him respect by not blaming him for every problem you have in your marriage. Marriage is two flawed imperfect people living in a fallen flawed world so there are always two sides to every story. 

Showing respect means you show your husband that he is needed in the marriage and family. That his opinion is highly valued. That you desire his influence in the marriage and home. That you have confidence in him.

Showing respect is hard work in your marriage. It doesn't come naturally.

I could go on, but today I pray that some wife is encouraged and challenged by today's post.