Tuesday, June 11

I said it. I took it back. I was indecisive. UGHHH!!!!!!!
Why did I make commitments stacked on top of one another in one day? Even if it killed me, I was gonna finish. That's the kind of girl I am. I struggle with saying "no." Why didn't I just take my time and figure out my answer in the beginning before I opened my mouth and said "yes."

This five foot girl thinks bigger than her height. That's the problem.

So as I like to share my joys, my struggles, my life and my victories on Joy Treasure, today I share a struggle I deal with internally, I can be wishy washy sometimes.

Yes, it's true.

But you may never know it because I will always try to finish something I start even if I am over committed. If I give my word, I keep my word. There have been days when I have gone from one birthday party to the next, and the next and the next. Not wanting to say "no" when we are tired, when we need rest. I don't want to miss out. I don't want my son to miss out. I am just being honest. I don't want for other women to think I don't care about them. So I go. Even when I need to stay home and rest. This is not good ladies. This is not good.

Do you feel like me? Have you ever done this before?

This wishy washy-ness can come in different forms for women. I don't know, but I think there are many factors. Busyness, the need to be liked, the fear of saying "no" and thinking you may be rejected by another person. Thinking you have more time to do it all when you really don't. Sometimes wishy washy-ness can be because you are fearful of something new. You feel uncomfortable and you don't want to try it out so you sit on it for a while. What makes you wishy washy? I really want to hear from you about this!!!!

The Bible tells us how to be clear and direct and NOT be wishy washy. And I admit, there have been times when I re-read this verse and it is like a dagger to my heart because it is SO true!!!!! (Yes, I know this passage is talking about faith. But the imagery of doubt being like a wave speaks to my wishy washy-ness.)

"...for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind." James 1:6

Anytime when I have been indecisive, I have either wanted to not miss out on something, wanted the other person to still like me if I couldn't do what they were asking me to do, and sometimes just needed to get still to think about my monthly calendar and not be so quick to say "yes."

I think the remedy for this struggle I deal with, is learning to be open and honest from the start and tell the person as quickly as I can, "I need to think about that. I am interested. I am not going to commit until I know for sure." That other person I think would rather hear that instead of feeling rejected by my "no" in the end or at the last minute. And then there are sometimes when life happens and someone gets sick and it just CAN'T happen. (Stomach Viruses and Strep always trump everything!)

We women are wishy washy. I am guilty of it. You are probably guilty of it, too. Even not saying a word to someone is being wishy washy. Omitting your answer or being silent can be wishy washy too. Have you ever thought about that before? It's true.

I want to be a woman who makes a promise from the start and keeps her word. Don't you?
I don't want to secretly kill myself in one day by over committing to too many things. But I don't want to miss out on something that could be a big blessing to my life either. It simply takes a few minutes to really think and ponder the best thing to commit too.

James says it best....we will be just like a tossed wave if we have doubts. And if we are wishy washy in our answers, other people will come to think we are wishy washy. That's not the kind of witness I want to portray? No woman I know sets out with a goal to portray wishy washy-ness. But without a clear direction from the start, she may can come across this way unknowingly.

Sister, we need to get to the root of our doubts and hesitations quicker. Doubts are there to alarm us to hold off and take time to think and consider. We need to get to what is best for us and for our family from the start and know it' OK to pause before you press play.

I want to hear if you struggle with this. Please leave a comment!!!!

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  1. I do at times find myself overcommitting. I try to follow through but you are right, tiredness, or realizing I said yes without thinking of whats best for my family that week. I have also been guilty of saying yes to a Bible study or an event knowing that it's coming up and on my off day piror to that event, I just lounge around instead of being productive so that when the event comes up, everything is in order. Then when the event comes up, my obligations are all behind because I chose to be lazy. Then the temptation is their to bail on the event for the fact that my obligations weren't taken care of. I do need to be thoughtful before saying yes a whole lot more.

  2. DeDe, Thanks for leaving a comment here on this post. It was a hard, hard hard one to write. I really like what you said about the time issue.
    I think you are right. That sometimes we don't organize or plan our time and then we are too exhausted that we then bail at the last minute because we now have stuff to do in our personal lives that we must give attention for.
    It really boils down to paying attention to our calendar and protecting our time. It's a precious commodity and we don't get it back once it's gone. If mismanaged, we react to the things that have to be done and then fail to keep our commitments. GREAT POINT! Thanks for being so real to share your struggles here. I have done the same thing.


I love to hear from you! Thanks for talking back!!

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